Outsourcing vs. Doing It Yourself: Time vs. Money in Parenting

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As parents, we’re constantly balancing competing demands: raising great kids, earning a living, staying healthy, showing up for our partners, and somehow not losing our minds in the process.

One of the most practical — and challenging — decisions we make every day is this:

Should I do it myself… or pay someone else to do it?

It’s the invisible tug-of-war between time and money that defines modern parenting.

Let’s break it down.

🔁 The Daily Dilemma: What’s Worth Your Time?

Maybe you’ve asked yourself questions like:

• Should I mow the lawn this weekend or hire a service?

• Should I meal prep every Sunday or just use a meal delivery kit?

• Should we clean the house ourselves or bring in help every few weeks?

• Should I help my kid with math homework or hire a tutor?

These aren’t just questions of preference — they’re decisions that affect your budget, your sanity, and even the values you’re modeling to your kids.

🧠 The Mental Math of Time vs. Money

Here’s the framework I use:

If you can outsource something for less than your effective hourly rate — and use that time for something more valuable — consider paying for it.

Let’s say you earn $50/hour at your job. If hiring a house cleaner costs you $100 and saves you 4 hours, that’s a good trade if you use those 4 hours meaningfully — for deep family time, work, health, or rest.

But that’s not the whole picture.

There’s also emotional cost. Stress. Guilt. Expectations. Pride.

Which brings us to…

💭 What Are You Really Outsourcing?

When we outsource a task, we’re not just saving time. We’re often outsourcing:

• Mental load

• Stress

• Skills we don’t enjoy or aren’t good at

• Opportunities to bond with our kids (sometimes)

• Control (which is hard for us dads to give up)

That’s why the decision can feel heavier than it looks on paper.

It’s not just “Should I hire someone to fix the leaky faucet?”

It’s also, “Am I being a lazy parent? Am I wasting money? Shouldn’t I know how to do this?”

💡 The Parenting Angle: What Do You Want Your Kids to See?

Here’s a big question to ask yourself:

What do I want my kids to learn from the way I spend my time and money?

• If you always DIY everything, they may learn grit, work ethic, and frugality.

• If you thoughtfully outsource, they may learn priorities, delegation, and valuing your time.

Neither is right or wrong. But intentionality is key.

Example:

If you pay for someone to mow your lawn, consider using that time to coach your kid’s team or play outside with them.

If you fix the sink yourself, talk to them while doing it. Let them hand you tools. Make it a moment.

🛠 When to DIY

• You want to teach your kids a skill (fixing a bike, cooking dinner, budgeting).

• You find the task rewarding or grounding.

• You want to save money for a bigger goal.

• It’s part of your identity or values.

Pro tip: Frame it for your kids — “We’re doing this ourselves because saving $50 here helps us afford our weekend trip to the lake.”

💼 When to Outsource

• You’re buying back time for your family, health, or sanity.

• You’re not good at it and it causes stress or arguments.

• The task takes you away from your highest priorities (family, rest, connection).

• You can afford it and you’ll use the time well.

💬 What We Do in the Money Dad Household

In our home, we’ve outsourced things like:

• A biweekly cleaning crew (saves our marriage and gives us back 4 hours every Saturday)

• Grocery delivery (huge win for time and sticking to the budget)

• Sports training for our kids when they want to level up

But we still DIY:

• Meal prep on Sundays with the kids

• Yard work in the summer (a bonding thing with my son)

• Basic home projects (so my daughter sees Dad can fix stuff!)

• It’s a mix. That’s the point.

🧭 The 3-Question Filter

Before you make the decision, ask yourself:

1. Does this task align with our family values or goals?

2. Is doing this myself helping or hurting our family’s well-being?

3. If I outsource this, what will I do with that time — and is it worth it?

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Final Thoughts

There’s no perfect balance.

But the key is to make conscious choices. Use your money to create margin. Use your time to deepen relationships. And don’t feel guilty for choosing convenience when it serves your greater purpose.

Sometimes being a great dad isn’t about doing everything yourself — it’s about choosing what really matters.

What’s something you’ve recently decided to outsource or DIY — and how did it go?

Drop a comment or reply to the newsletter — I’d love to hear from you.

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